Momentum in the Surrendering

If the essence of travel

is like a bottle

on the floor of a moving bus,

it can encapsulate

a momentum in the surrendering,

how every curve in the road

repositions its

temporary home.

With the imagination as a source

and destinations unknown,

there’s a pause over a glassy surface

like the reflection of pines

from a chair on an empty pier.

See them penitent in this light,

pressed against the sky

and in crystalized moments

the breaks in the clouds

 fall back into place

on glacial lakes.

There are simple rituals of control

in a fractured life,

the boiling kettle

that begets tea

in a green leafed kitchen,

Tai Chi that steeps the internal

in a laundry beneath

the backdrop of mountains.

There is something sublime in

running of hands

over ridgelines and the curves

that follow the currents

of continuous movement.

Like the trains

who by track and tunnel

deconstruct images

that huddle beneath passion, variety.

Through these windows

the inevitable takes shape

and life gives it strength

by the knowledge of the end of the line.

A momentum in the surrendering,

the landscape’s haphazard design.

From a veil of dark,

from whatever meaning

can be divined

from memory’s spark

in a field of fog,

the commingling of shades,

journals and coffee stains,

the night blending into day.

Along these borders,

dreams and swollen rivers

a life blood is

sourced from a common ancestor,

the past is only passing through.

Adapting but never arriving,

embracing but never evading

the ever-present chaos

sewn into the stitches

of a fabric unraveling.

This rite of passage,

the unfinished fragments

of letters and old poems

from a life mostly forgotten,

is shown to have its own momentum

not in the surrendering

but in seizing the moment.

Myths and Whispers

Amidst the white noise and distortion

that lingers behind the transmission,

the shame and coercion,

fear’s formless shape shifting.

The future unknown,

with no bearings,

is solitary, self contained, .

set against a perpetual rock wall of options,

there remains a way.

Through the creation

of something parallel,

something that stands on its own

and often hidden from view.

Just off of the road

beyond the subdivision,

like a temple structure

existing in enigma to dreams.

Illuminating from the deepest soil,

the buried fish hooks of space and time,

a map of stars

to navigate the night and the fears.

I do not share the same

Listening with the eyes

and not the ears.

Despite divisive landscapes

and lack of balance,

the spirit remains

in alignment with motion,

the underlying current

in an endless ocean.

Something beyond the mist

and the mind

myths and whispers

moving the tides,

turning streets to streams,

without resistance it guides

a light surrender

to the will of the outrigger.

To the waves and the words

that bob up for release,

to creativity,

a sturdy craft in the chaos of dis-ease.

You can see all the Scars from Above

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What in the past can possibly hint at this chaos?

What has disturbed the clear pools, raising patterns of dissonance

as prominent as anything placid?

The wind shifts and storm clouds arrive in an instant,

although often appearing further away.

From a balcony you’ll see this blackened mass of grey

mushrooming from beneath Diamond Head.

Something was ablaze and the last of the birds were chased away.

When most of us lay oblivious

in the serenity of a Sunday morning,

we’d soon wake to the realization

that something was out of the ordinary.

There was smoke obscuring our landmarks, distorting our familiarity,

this is often true of tragedy.

Where death lay in waiting, just down the road,

looking to pounce from its place of hiding

like a leap of shrapnel.

There was an explosion of smoke and cinder

that turned a cracked mirror on our distorted theater.

Through the lens of a killer

we’re led through the mayhem and disorder

that breaks the mundane all would be content to maintain.

Passing through the rubble and stories of the fallen victims,

we’ll put faces to the names

etched into the collective memory

like a fabric in flames.

The headlines spread and the media focused its microscopic gaze

on this tiny enclave that in the distant past

was the place of an old heiau,  Papa Ena’ Ena

and the smoke that issued from its sacrificial pyres

could be seen for miles.

We look there again in this modern age,

in sadness and outrage

but it won’t hit “home” until you see the damage,

and it is forever changed.

Senseless is the loss with no answers,

when tranquility turns to violence

and paranoia is a blind outlet from a dim-lit corner.

In the most obscure reaches of the mind,

the images are indistinguishable in time.

What else can be said of our darkest of crimes?

The things we’re capable of seem barbarous,

as the madness inherent in our condition

now positions itself like a shadow

over the breakfast silence.

The wind picks up and unsettles us again.

The once floral breeze now choked by ash and debris,

uncovering the decay beneath trees

that witness our terrible deeds.

The permanent marks this episode leaves

for the sensitive to find in the quiet hours

will always speak of what happened not long ago.

 

Back a few decades it rained heavy on another January 20,

pounding bleating rain with no visibility

as she crosses the mountains of the Pali,

running red down ravines,

from Tantalus to the valley streams,

through the quiet neighborly streets

that are shook to the core,

as they were before

they are at present in an aftermath

that resembles an air raid

and you cannot look anymore.

Tiny flames flicker in vain

upon the dusty altar of the innocent slain.

Wringing the sky of the last of its water

will not wash away the trauma

nor the loss of someone’s son and daughter,

the film reel keeps playing over and over.

So you’ll seek refuge in the mountains

but it offers no escape for an older tragedy awaits.

The physical landscape seems to reflect the mental,

so you’ll switchback another hill for a different view.

From higher ground, even moral ground,

do we receive anymore perspective?

You can see all the scars from up above.

From Tantalus where one story is bled,

down along Hibiscus

where the smoldering evidence is read.

From above, our lives appear interwoven

and this fair city seems so exposed.

What else can be said of our tenuous position?

Where everything can fall apart in an instant

and each sad tragedy seems like a revision

of someone or something we’ve lost in the past.

 

 

Los Angeles

noir la

We’re here for a short while

and laying down no roots,

the words that we choose

to capture something of its scope,

reflect more the hopelessly transitory

in this city of ghosts.

So we’ll toast to ascendency

and extract from every landmark

some past tragedy

violence has painted into the fabric of memory.

In the cracks between decades

something is always in motion.

It seems harder to distinguish or make clear demarcations

in the larger charcoal drawing of shadows merging

into the shape of things to come.

Adrift in the chaos of what cannot be controlled

is the free fall of letting go.

Many are cast aside in the afterglow of so many nights.

Smoldering cigarettes after sex in Sunset billboards black and white.

This is how the city freeze frames a cry for release

before being torn down, snuffed out and forgotten.

After the sirens passed and the suicides attached,

what is left of the past?

What still resides at the Alto Nido apartments?

The quiet splendor of fire escapes and brass

do not betray the eyes that watch you from behind

myriad layers of glass.

In Los Angeles it must be asked,

what side of the lens do you find yourself on?

How have the roles been reversed

in a city of never subtle metamorphosis?

In Alta Cienega’s green and decrepit halls,

where spray painted messages crawl like lizards

into the cracked mirrors of your distorted visage.

Rothdell Terrace still expresses a hidden presence

in the wind chimes that climb back into the canyon

unpeeling layers upon layers

of the past that never stays that way in LA,

so we chase time.

In Hollywood some dahlias turn black in the shade while dreams fade.

Velvet wishes become frail images in ornate theaters

where we’ll voyeur the silver screen,

tune in to the noir scream

on a frequency like a pained string of coincidences

pulled along the neon boatride of boulevards.

Stuck on the freeway, in an assembly of eyes

like empty electric sockets

plugged in to the media enterprise.

Breaking news again,

twisted men on rooftops

desensitized to violence

but we cannot avert or disguise the decay

but tune in to the suffering

the same way we would entertainment.

We take endless pictures of

bloody sunsets in magenta smog and chemical sky

descending into darkness

like a chain reaction of mansions blinking on

as the disappearing wilderness turns to ash.

There’s no hue that will last here

or any signs to divine from the fires.

The city seems perched on the edge of an abyss

and all the agents appear ready to flip the script to chaos

and when you strip away all the glamour and the sheen,

that’s all we’re left with

in this city, so we flee again.

A Distorted Image that once had Symmetry

WALLOFWATER

You never seemed closer

than when the winter’s mirror

showed the moon through a window

we no longer shared together.

It had moved beyond the frame,

outside of the domestic pressures

to come to a consensus.

Arresting me now

from this unsteady position,

appearing marble over sculpted edges,

it succumbs to the falls.

For a time you receded

into the memory of travel.

What we felt was fixed

seemed to unravel

into a distorted image

that once had symmetry.

It was a shared architecture

balanced perpetually over water,

on the far end of slumber

we’d pass through Alhambra.

Light and shadow a shifting mosaic

perfecting the illusion of order.

It shades the gypsy within

a forgotten square,

somewhere the faint sound of strings

that know no completion.

All the poems resting in woven shoulder bags

share their scraps of awe,

untidy and retreating to far flung places.

There the moon is watching,

like an ancestral eye,

witness to the chaos

that in time plateaus.

It sees these windows are cleansed.

What we had closed is now flung open

as it ascends the back trellis,

cold sheets over the flower beds,

the moon is a punctuation of silence,

a trial that comes to completion,

an illuminated mile to float on

as time allows us to revive a dead ocean,

an unfolding dream

an unbroken seam,

as it coils around the wave break sound

to the far horizon where eyes bid farewell.

If this is my last view,

if today is a good day to depart

with a subtle wake,

it would always be worth it.

Departures. Scattered Illusions.

earthquake-and-tidal-wave-causing-destruction-of-buildings-in-lisbon-portugal-1755

Departures

You take it as a sign,

gulls circling in the sky

where the sea meets the land

the point of departure

to keep from sinking in quicksand

to keep from thinking that routine

is anything but an hourglass

that you planned to go down.

Choosing instead the unknown.

To loosen the thread and unravel

these temporary homes,

to forfeit comfort,

wind-borne and thrown

into the tatters of travelling alone.

Set afloat and where it goes?

You don’t presume to know,

this crooked course,

hair in a halo,

where every moment is slow-glowed

in an infinite wish to be everywhere at once,

on all points of a disfigured design

stretching over an entire area of time,

it props a half-cracked oar

in reason’s razor sharp door

that is like a mouth

surfacing to swallow you from inside

the grey-blue movement of the mind.

Sinking,

until thinking of nothing.

“The current runs on,

making wanderers of us all.”

Ideas rising from the sea

like all the monsters of mythology

dripping with marine algae

and all the barnacled accumulation

that grows around obligation.

Submerging here,

surfacing there,

rising above personality

like the waters of displacement

sending waves in its wake

to raze the port of your tiny city.

 

Scattered Illusions

All the elaborate plans

and exaggerated illusions

become scattered

under the hanging clouds

of what’s to come.

Faces and goals

become physical spaces

for the myriad roles

dispatched to railroads

on an enlarged panorama.

They watch each other in passing,

worlds colliding

where the glass is dividing,

time will not hold them apart,

there is no soundtrack

to lead these memories to heart.

Scenes to arise in song

long after the conductor has gone,

long after you were discarded

at some all night depot.

Whatever will be

now rests in neon debris,

trembling

with a repetitive flickering,

until lulled to sleep

in a place they will not wake me,

call me stranger

nor hold me close,

there is no closing time here.